The Silver Lining

We had a really busy week last week.  I tried to schedule a few down days, to recoup my energy in between some events we had going on -- I'm learning to be aware of not over-scheduling things. Wednesday we had an appointment at Duke with Dr. Raja.  This is a LONG trip for us -- it is 4 hours' drive from our home to Durham.  Our appointment was late afternoon, so we packed up for staying overnight IF we decided to do that.  We stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel, and arrived at the clinic just a few minutes early.  I was happy to be able to walk into the place on my own steam this time!  My first visit, 3 months ago, I was wheelchair bound and on oxygen 24/7. July, 2018 October, 2018 Dr. Raja was quite pleased with my progress; so were we!  I'm continuing on the same medicine regimen for the time being.  We will likely try reducing the prednisone again  in a few weeks.  She noted I had gained 5 pounds in three...

I've had a not-so-great week, physically and emotionally.  I spent a couple of days just curled up on the couch, unable to really move.  Even chewing food and speaking became difficult.  (A medication adjustment caused this, another adjustment is beginning to help me recover again.) I gaze into the mirror and ask the reflection, "Who are you now?  Who have you become?"  I look at not-so-old photos of myself and ask, "I miss you, where did you go? Will you ever come back?" I've done a fair bit of shaking my fist at God (read:  "Giant Pity Party") but I guess I feel a little entitled to do so.  I'm struggling to do some of the simplest, most mundane tasks.  I also know this, too, shall pass -- and I really DO try to balance it out with counting my blessings. Then I lost two friends, untimely deaths for them both.  Or at least "untimely" for those of us who loved them. My Giant Pity Party turned into an angry rant. These ...

I try to be upbeat and optimistic most of the time.  I poke fun at things to get a smile, even when things aren't necessarily "funny."  It's just my usual way of dealing with life's challenges. However, some weeks are not "usual" and somethings are not always humorous. Last week was one of those times. It started off on a high note -- my doctor had reduced my prednisone dosage by 10 mg.  I was really excited about that.  I have a love/hate relationship with prednisone.  While it has been a great medication to "prop me up" and get me moving, it has a lot of side effects that are not so pleasant.  For example, I feel like I am constantly vibrating inside, and my hands shake constantly. It makes me want to eat anything that is not nailed down.  Plus the long term side effects include bone loss, which is not a good thing to have either.  So I was really doing the happy dance to come down a peg on the dosage.  The tremors and vibration fee...