FREE THE TATAS, SAVE THE TURTLES!
There are few things in life that I detest more than a bra.
Yes, I said it, and I know this makes my mother cringe. (Sorry, Mom!)
As a pre-teen, when one girl in the class came to school sporting a training bra, we ALL decided we should have one. What no one tells you is that a training bra does not train the boobs, it trains the GIRL to wear a bra.
I determined that a bra was developed as a torture device to keep women "tied to their place." At times I'd just as soon have a strand of barbed wire wrapped around my rib cage.
I grew up in the late 60's and early 70's, when "bra-burning" was a sign of feminism, a sign of protest against establishment. I didn't actually DO it --- but now, the idea is really kind of intriguing!
I will admit bras DO have some usefulness. They make our clothes fit better. They "lift and separate" (to borrow a phrase from an ancient television commercial). They keep us from tantalizing men with extra curves (whether we intend to "tantalize" or not).
Yeah, that's about all I can think of.
So as a young lady, you are given a bra and instructed to wear one from now on, except when you sleep. Ah, yeah. What no one tells you is that it is hot, feels like you're wearing a cage around your chest, adds an additional layer in the summertime when it is already 100 degrees outside, hard to find one that fits, it is uncomfortable, often the straps slide off the shoulders, or the band rides up, or you get "side boob". They do NOT "bring me joy" -- so Marie Kondo says it's fine to toss them out, declutter the lingerie drawer!
If you wear a sports bra, taking the darn thing OFF when you are hot and sweaty is an exercise in futility. I know of someone who finally got a pair of scissors and cut herself out of them. OK, I admit it -- yeah, that would be ME.
Let's talk about bra shopping, shall we? You can "do it yourself" by grabbing a handy-dandy tape measure, and follow the instructions about where to measure to get the bra size, then the cup size. If one you buy by those measurements actually FITS, you are one in a million!
A few years ago, I got so aggravated one day, I took every bra I owned out of the drawer and threw them in the trashcan. (I later fished one out, to wear to town.) I drove myself to a lingerie store, and had a bra fitting. The clerk measured me carefully, then said I was "between sizes.
She then brought in about 12 different "styles" in the two sizes. I spent all morning trying on different bras, trying to find one that felt decent and the straps would stay put. Eventually I purchased 4 new bras -- which totaled more than my first car payment did. I deposited that last old one in the trashcan at the store and wore one of the new ones home (like a little kid with a new pair of shoes). For a while, we were happy together .... but after a while, the relationship began to sag and slip a little. *sigh*
Then there is washing those pricey boulder-holders. Hand-wash only. Really? Does anyone REALLY "hand wash" anything anymore? I compromised; I put them in a lingerie bag and wash them on the delicate cycle. I never ever put them in the dryer. I put them ON TOP of the dryer and they will dry in a day or so.
Gee, maybe I should try that....
One of my most favorite things about being retired is that I do NOT have to wear a bra if I don't want to. And usually I don't want to!
Recently, I saw an this article about an animal rescue organization that was asking for bras to help save turtles. I was quite intrigued! At last, a BETTER, more HUMANE use for these elastic/hook & eye contraptions!
Upon further investigation, I saw some examples of this idea.
Pretty darn cool, huh?
Many turtles are injured as they attempt to cross the road. I've seen them around the lake where I live -- whenever one is crossing the road in front of me here, I try to stop and pick the fellow up and put him on the other side of the road so he will be out of danger. But often they get hit by cars, their shells are cracked or broken. Many are taken to Carolina Waterfowl Rescue for help. It seems that bras can be used much like elastic bandages on humans. The hooks and eyes that can be used to hold pieces of the shell together while the turtle recuperates. What a brilliant idea!!
At last, I knew of something meaningful I could do with those tortuous items that I am SURE are plotting against me as they lurk in my dresser drawer!
I realized I could free the ta-tas and SAVE THE TURTLES!!
I rounded up a few that I was totally "at odds" with, and shipped them off this morning! In a few days, I expect there might be a healing turtle sporting that pretty blue one. (That one tried to strangle me the last time I wore it!)
I expect to send more bras for this good cause.
I LIKE TURTLES!!
If you'd like to join me in Freeing the Tatas & Saving the Turtles,
mail your bras to:
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