The Silver Lining

I've had a not-so-great week, physically and emotionally.  I spent a couple of days just curled up on the couch, unable to really move.  Even chewing food and speaking became difficult.  (A medication adjustment caused this, another adjustment is beginning to help me recover again.) I gaze into the mirror and ask the reflection, "Who are you now?  Who have you become?"  I look at not-so-old photos of myself and ask, "I miss you, where did you go? Will you ever come back?" I've done a fair bit of shaking my fist at God (read:  "Giant Pity Party") but I guess I feel a little entitled to do so.  I'm struggling to do some of the simplest, most mundane tasks.  I also know this, too, shall pass -- and I really DO try to balance it out with counting my blessings. Then I lost two friends, untimely deaths for them both.  Or at least "untimely" for those of us who loved them. My Giant Pity Party turned into an angry rant. These ...

August 27- September 2, 2018 The last week of August!   I look forward to it every year because it’s my BIRTHDAY WEEK!   This year, it’s especially meaningful to me.   I think back to just a few weeks ago, when I nearly choked to death and thought I might not SEE this birthday.   It’s a particularly joyful time this year! I’ve felt stronger lately, my voice is steadier, “Elmer Fudd” hasn’t been speaking for me for several days now and I am feeling more like “me” again.   I still need to take lots of breaks, and I have to rest more than usual, but my spirits are lifting and I’m laughing more.   All good things. My mom and dad came for a visit on Tuesday.   They brought me some flowers and a birthday gift, plus some pears harvested from the tree in their yard. We just sat and chatted a while, talking about friends and relatives and church.   It’s always good to see my mom and dad; I treasure the time I have with them.   I think whe...

I get by with a Little Help -- August 10 - 21, 2018 Help in this case comes in many forms, including chemical, emotional, and personal. The Cellcept finally arrived.  Designed for use mainly with transplant patients, this medication keeps the body from rejecting a newly transplanted organ.  In my case, it would re-vamp my immune system to keep it from attacking itself.  The first three months, my immunity will be quite compromised, and I will need to be careful about exposure to germs.  Then, gradually, my system should be “re-booted” in a kinder, gentler form that won’t try to kill itself. Knowing that my immunity will be compromised throughout the fall, I am looking at ways to streamline some things, to avoid public and exposure to colds and other germs. I have a face mask, I also carry and use hand sanitizer.  I am trying to be selective about where I go.  For example, since I retired 9 years ago, my “gift” to myself has been pretty acryli...